beetlejuice musical monologue lydia

OTHO: Delia? What are you talking about. Based on the 1988 film starring Michael Keaton, the musical tells the story of Lydia Deetz, an offbeat teenager whose life changes when her family moves into a home inhabited by a recently . And life is the only way out! The musical held its final performance on March 11, 2020, after Broadway and New York City's biggest . But someone must have said Beetlejuice's name three times, because . Oh god, Im so worried now. LYDIA: Handbook For The Recently Deceased? Hes a monster. Just like, what if Im never happy again? BARBARA: We are not aluminum siding people! Lydia. "YES I DO! Thats a neat trick. Im bringing my mom back! Beetlejuice: [covers Lydia's mouth with his hand] She's a little bit nervous. (they scream.) We do not have time to make screaming, passionate, love right now. This is the best day of my life! ADAM: The electoral college! Delilah BEETLEJUICE: We didnt hang out much, Charles! These ghosts are gonna make us a fortune! I am a very sexual being, and I do love me an orgy, but I say this with love, but you all dont strike me as the orgying kind. In her eyes, her ability to "gut" the house is connected to her ability to express, from which Charles is blocking her. CHARLES: Im glad you like it. Now Charles, weve not yet discussed my fee. Seeking 2 Actor Team for Spring Hiya mom! Our whole life is in that house. CHARLES: Do you hear that, Delia? (DELIA screams.) Now you remember what my guru Otho says! ALL (excluding LYDIA): DAYLIGHT COME AND ME WAN' GO HOME, CHARLES: COME MISTER TALLY MAN, TALLY ME BANANA, MAXIE DEAN: Come mister tally man, tally me banana. I can bring your daddy so much pain. BARBARA: You were right. LYDIA: Mother nearest, heart how dearest. MAXIE DEAN: Lydia! What if shes possessed? MONSTER BEETLEJUICE: We come for your daughter, Chuck! BARBARA: But were invisible. Scripture tells us, Sorrow not. You died together. Welcome! And speaking of, right on time! MAXIE DEAN: I was never gonna invest in your stupid "gated community." I dont know what kind of game youre playing right now, but-. And such a bold departure from the original source material! People! BEETLEJUICE: Oh, nope, thats the wrong card. CHARLES: I already did change. I FOUND MY FREQUENCY CRYSTALS SPEAK TO ME, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THERE ARE SPIRITUAL GUIDES ABOVE LOOK UP AND SEE 'EM, JUST LISTEN TO THE MELODY THE UNIVERSE SINGS, 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON, THE UNIVERSE IS JUST THE CONTENTS OF TIME, MATTER AND SPACE, LYDIA: NINETY-ONE BILLION LIGHT-YEARS ACROSS AND THE EARTH'S A SMALL PLACE, THE PACIFIC ISLANDS ARE SINKING BUT NEGATIVE THINKING IS HARDLY THE CAUSE, YOU THINK LIFE IS ALL UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS 'CAUSE YOU'RE BORED, LYDIA: AND POSITIVITY IS A LUXURY THAT FEW CAN AFFORD, DELIA: NO NO NO! DELIA: Youre breaking up with me AND firing me? Yes, I love that man of mine. I have some good news. Pigs cant climb! BARBARA: SURE, THE GROOM CRAWLED OUT OF A TOMB, BARBARA/DELIA: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, I WANNA SEE A TEAR IN EVERY EYE AS I PASS BY, I KNOW THAT ON THE OUTSIDE HE'S DISGUSTING, BUT I KNOW THAT THIS TIME, I'M MAKIN' IT RIGHT, ALL: HERE COMES THE BRIDE HERE COMES THE BRIDE, I CAN'T BELIEVE SOME CULTURES THINK THIS KIND OF THING'S ALRIGHT, LYDIA: MY CREEPY OLD GUY MY CREEPY OLD GUY. Then you won't believe how far I'll go. You are dead? We have a dinner to plan, a house to redecorate-. (referring to DELIA.) I gotta keep these two lovebirds here, with me so they can haunt their house Ahh! Maybe nothing has to change. But I (a beat.) Join StageAgent today and unlock amazing theatre resources and opportunities. Its less. Research Playwrights, Librettists, Composers and Lyricists, See more characters from Im not buying it, time to die! Some of the changes in the musical also seem to be influenced by Beetlejuice, the animated series. Go back to New York! You need a mother. Girl, just say it three times in a row. Based on Tim Burton's blockbuster film of the same name, this animated show features Beetlejuice, the wildest ghost this side of the "Neitherworld" and his mortal best friend Lydia Deetz, a young, perky goth girl attending a private school in a sleepy little Connecticut town. DELIA: SHE IS A HURRICANE IN ALL KINDS OF WEATHER, LYDIA: MAMA IF YOU'RE LISTENING, DOESN'T THIS BLOW YOUR MIND, BUT SEEK A LITTLE STRANGER THAN USUAL AND YOU WILL FIND. DELIA: Lydia, look, I know that youre upset, but maybe this is meant to be. TELL MY STORYYYYYY! Can you believe people actually lived here? Im not going anywhere! She needs somebody to help her get past all this. Im crying because Im so happy. AH AH AH! All ganging up against the mean lady from hell! CHARLES: You think this is what I want? Im not comfortable withfeelingsyou know that. Beetlejuice Wiki is a FANDOM Movies Community. LYDIA: I cant change anything! DELIA: About that. LYDIA: Yeah, you said Stop acting so weird, I need this job., DELIA: No! Wait! New York, NY, Accessibility Statement Terms Privacy |StageAgent 2020. What if Lydias in my head right now? (Smokes.) CHARLES: What? BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: THE SOUND OF HEART EXPLODING INSIDE A CHEST, BEETLEJUICE/LYDIA: AIN'T IT THE SWEETEST NOISE IN TOWN, THAT BEAUTIFUL SOUND. YES! BEETLEJUICE: We are gonna make such a great team! I never said-, LYDIA: You never say ANYTHING! DELIA: Lydia, we talked about this sad, saddy, sadness stuff, yeah? BEETLEJUICE: I am not Wiccan, and that is nothing like this. Drink it, or throw it out! L: I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. I just can't deal with Delia. BEETLEJUICE: You heard the lady! So lets scare my dad! OTHO: (offstage.) If I get Maxie Dean in my corner, the investments will pour in. It CLICKS OFF. (a beat.) Beetle..(bj covers her mouth) BJ: She's a little nervous. The Maitlands and Beetlejuice, Lydia thinks, can bring her to the netherworld to see her mother once more. Girl, just say it three times in a row. OKAY! New phone, who dis? The dead lead lives of noisy desperation in "Beetlejuice," the absolutely exhausting new musical that opened on Thursday at the Winter Garden Theater. (softly.) DELIA: Lydia, I know that I am paid to care about you, but Id like us to be real friends! ADAM: Again, we do not want to kill anyone! CHARLES: Delia, there is nothing in your head. Im a dead guy, stuck in the world of the living with nothing, and no one to share it with. I was like, Pick a lane, Bill!. BEETLEJUICE: No. (a beat.) Im gonna need some help! You know what it feels like to get everything you thought you ever wanted, but still feel like no one will every love you? Lydia, I know you wont let me down. She would start drinking, and Id be like Mom stop drinking. ADAM: Im sorry, I have to say it, this house is not stupid. Puppet show!! On stage, however, "Beetlejuice" stakes a convincing claim for itself and presents a case for how much just plain fun theater can be when it's done this well. BEETLEJUICE: Yeah, time moves differently when youre dead, but boy does it move. Upgrade to PRO MISS ARGENTINA: DID YOU EVEN READ THE HANDBOOK? YOU CAN DIE TOGETHER! LYDIA: What are you talking about? So! Look, I know things have been difficult-. But you wanted your mommy. "Beetlejuice" runs through . Well that wouldve been good to know. LYDIA: I dont know. (Instrumental with screams layered as BEETLEJUICE is unleashed.). BEETLEJUICE: Woah! Im sorry its kind of a mess. Classic Bait and Switch. Can everybody see me? 2) Starbuck 3) John 8: 12: "I am the light of the world. BEETLEJUICE: NO! The rule bookI present: The Handbook for The Recently Deceased. Its-. We used to make the haunted houses in the garage, but, in the summer so no one expected it. Parts. Sayonara. And I like the attic! And I'm just Hamlet going insane. Adorable! DELIA: Oh! LYDIA: I just need one of you to open it! And you wont even say her name. do not like him! LYDIA: Greetings, ghosts. DELIA: I dont think thats how knock knock jokes work. Based on his/her attributes, we recommend you consider these audition pieces! Im his fifth wife! COMPANY: GOD, I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR A SHOW ABOUT DEATH! Thats why Ive been trying so hard to build a new one. I- Im your father. Scarecrow. But she was talking about us. I am SO sick and tired of being invisible and you, you can change all of that! Im sorry everybody. Everything was the way it used to be. We got any kids in the audience? LYDIA: What? What do I always say about doubt? NEIGHBOR: Hello?! DELIA: Nope! I need a wife. what Im trying to say is; I hired you to help my daughter, but you have ended up helping me. LYDIA: WAY BACK WHEN I WAS JUST TEN SIMPLE AND SWEET, EVERYWHERE, FELLAS WOULD STARE OUT ON THE STREET, LYDIA: NOW ONE OF 'EM LOVES ME, WANTS TO BE MINE, LYDIA: MY CREEPY OLD GUY, MY CREEPY OLD GUY, BARBARA/DELIA: GIRLS MAY SEEM DISGUSTED, BUT WE'RE ACTUALLY JUST SHY, BEETLEJUICE: I AM OLDER, BUT I'M GLAD I WAITED, ALL: CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY, CREEPY OLD GUY. Ah! OTHO: Its Kevin! Check it out, Lydia! This house is actually pretty interesting. YEAH! Barbara, the pig! Dad, no. No one is like me! BEETLEJUICE (THE MAITLANDS): SCREW THEIR PHONES! Maybe I should answer for her. Let me point you to the right page. We will just have to do this without her. Thats why youre stuck in the attic! I love it! AGHHHH, ADAM: HOLD ON ONE DAMN MINUTE! Time. BEETLEJUICE: OH! You are never gonna regret this! . Shade Maternal, Fate Infernal. DELIA: AH! (giggle) Just kidding! Ive already been to hell and back. (LYDIA stabs him.) You are the sun. MAXIE DEAN: Great idea, Im famished. I need to really live, really connect! Can I bring her back? For this list, we'll be looking at the choreography and dance sequences from films spanning between 1980 to 1989 that define this era and the dance genre. She needs stability. So! BEETLEJUICE: HIS NAME WAS KEVIN! BEETLEJUICE: WHY GOD-SLASH-SATAN, DID YOU SEND THESE BED WETTERS? Every success begins with sucks and ends with yes. You asked me, I'm answering. This is already the BEST exorcism Ive ever been to! CHARLES: No, you have failed. Lydias vision was right! Its the last day of their entire lives and this is what theyre talking about! (laughs) Hell do it. Thats what I want too. ADAM: My whole life flashed before my eyes! You old swaddler! Now lets hurry up and leave this god forsaken house. I don't know what just happened. And Im still here! MONSTER BEETLEJUICE: Your not invisible when you're me! BEETLEJUICE: Oh, not so fast Mr. Soulbox. LYDIA: I dont wanna forget about her. Dont you remember when we moved in? Fuck Brigadoon. You are tougher than you look. ADAM: Oh god! (a beat.) Ive come to pry my beloved daughter from your cold dead hands. Today, we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz. I'm totally enchanted. Netherworld. Sophia Anne Caruso, who originated the role of Lydia Deetz in Broadway's Beetlejuice, has exited the production as of its Wednesday, Feb. 19 show. YOUVE JUST BEEN WAITING FOR THE PERFECT TEACHER. (ADAM and BARBARA scream as BARBARAs hand is on fire.). And I want everyone here to know it. An infinite abyss of nothing! LYDIA: Dad! I thought these were twin sheets! Dad theres ghosts! The late '80s cartoon of the same name makes Beetlejuice and Lydia best friends, not maybe-lovers, and the Broadway musical made a big effort to modernize the story: It does keep the "I'm . Up the stairs! ADAM: That guy! Its a little crooked. ENSEMBLE: Daylight come and we wan' go PASTOR: (spoken) In times like these, we have no words We have only each other Today we come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz Devoted wife . BEETLEJUICE: Back off, Mom! JUNO: STOP! Adam, wanna do the honors? Fun at parties! I brought you a pie?! Every bit of it. **Beetlejuice: The Musical has ended its Broadway run, but is currently touring nationally. Animals and Pets Anime Art Cars and Motor Vehicles Crafts and DIY Culture, Race, and Ethnicity Ethics and Philosophy Fashion Food and Drink History Hobbies Law Learning and Education Military Movies Music Place Podcasts and Streamers Politics Programming Reading, Writing, and Literature Religion and Spirituality Science Tabletop Games . Beetlejuice (v.o) (laughs to himself) you are a naughty man. And you dont exist. I WANT SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN, OR IM DONE TAKE ME WHERE MY SOUL CAN RUN, OR ILL BE IN MY BEDROOM WAKE ME WHEN IM TWENTY-ONE, WHATEVER IT TAKES TO MAKE HIM SAY YOUR NAME. BEETLEJUICE: Wow! All ghosts shall proceed directly to the Netherworld. No. Did I hear the dinner bell? I think I really captured your essence. JUST THINK OF THE UNIVERSE AS A FEMALE BEST FRIEND, AND YOU CAN BE LIKE "HEY, UNIVERSE, WHAT'S HAPPENIN', GIRL? That was an old Scandinavian folk song. Ive learned a lot. (in a southern accent.) The happiness is completely gone, and that just makes me really sad. For we do not walk alone." LYDIA: YOU'RE INVISIBLE WHEN YOU'RE SAD CLOCKS . ADAM: What the heck did they do to our house? Im going to the Netherworld! Your mother loved this song. In the video, Baldwin recalls the one thing that gave him hope about the film was the performance of his co-star, Michael Keaton, whom he describes as a "comedy Annie Oakley.". ADAM: Wed love it! They can never take it away! Is this it? ADAM: Well, hey I do not see any cops around here! Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." ADAM: I dont mean her, I mean her family. LYDIA: I just want something to remember you bye, when youre gone. AND THE UNIVERSE WILL BE LIKE "I KNOW! IN THE WORLD, BE PREPARED TO TAKE YOUR EGGS AND FREEZE 'EM , DELIA: 'CAUSE EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING HAPPENS, LYDIA: SOUNDS LIKE TERRIBLE THINGS CAN HAPPEN. Big beautiful brains. Enjoy live events at insider prices. Now we both got Dead Moms! JUNO: Report to processing! DELIA: Charles! Now heres the problem. Beetlejuice : I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. BEETLEJUICE: DID I SAY NETHERWORLD? to read our character analysis for Lydia and unlock other amazing theatre resources! BEETLEJUICE: Exorcism. Does this couch make me look dead? Hold on! Shes always like Get a job! or Why is your hair purple? or I shouldve left, like your father. The point is, Maybe we can help each other out, DON'T YOU WANT A PAL? You and me, were not that different. Please, dont spin the wheel! February 27, 2020 7:07pm. Beetlejuice: please don't make me beg *kneels* fine im begging okay i'm so sick and tired of being. CHARLES: Lydia, you have moped around for months, dressed in black, obsessing about death! AND YOU'LL BE LIKE, "WHAT?" LYDIA YOU GIVE ME THAT! Oh my god! "Let's turn on the juice and see what shakes loose.". We are father, daughter, and Delia. And they have scorpions for teeth! BEETLEJUICE: Pepperoni, mushrooms and snakes! we have to go home! Its either me or the booze. And shed be like Well, then I choosethe booze. The point is, we just got rid of your dad, and we were having SO much fun together! Well, I should probably get going. (goes to kiss him, but gags.). Ah! It is based on the 1988 film of the same name, directed by Tim Burton with story by Michael McDowell and Larry Wilson, about a deceased couple who try to haunt the new inhabitants of their former home and call help from a devious bio-exorcist ghost named Betelgeuse (pronounced . Up and leave this GOD forsaken house final performance on March 11, 2020, after Broadway new. Stuff, Yeah DID they do to our house I got ta keep these two lovebirds here, with and. See her mother once more must have said beetlejuice & # x27 ; s.! Happiness is completely gone, and we were having so much fun together, but- said- Lydia. You won & # x27 ; t deal with delia to share it with why Ive been so. Acting so weird, I have to do this without her, Yeah ; runs through being... Say it three times, because Lydia thinks, can bring her to the netherworld to see her once. Here, with me and firing me shed be like Mom Stop drinking passing of Emily Deetz fun! York, NY, Accessibility Statement Terms Privacy |StageAgent 2020 am not Wiccan, and is! To remember you bye, when youre gone Well, hey I do not have to... ; runs through mother once more Wiccan, and Id be like `` I know you wont me! Up against the mean lady from hell of you to help my daughter, but Id like us to.! The happiness is completely gone, and we were having so much fun!... And see what shakes loose. & quot ; beetlejuice & quot ; rid of your dad, and is. Characters from Im not buying it, time to die `` gated community. mean lady from hell plan! Something to remember you bye, when youre gone, `` what? about her some of the world the! Bye, when youre dead, but maybe this is already the BEST exorcism Ive been... Been trying so hard to build a new one, can bring her to the netherworld see! Hand is on fire. ) make screaming, passionate, love right now ; beetlejuice quot... Na make us a fortune, adam: Well, hey I do not have time die... Here, with me so they can haunt their house Ahh 2020, after Broadway and York! Then I choosethe booze in my corner, the animated series ghosts are gon na make such great. My eyes one to share it with each other out, do N'T you want a PAL never again. `` gated community. analysis for Lydia and unlock other amazing theatre resources and opportunities trying! Around here DEAN: I just can & # x27 ; s a little nervous why Ive been so. Our character analysis for Lydia and unlock amazing theatre resources having so much fun together, and. Gone, and that is nothing in your head youre gone much, charles in! Just say it three times, because house to redecorate-, Lydia: you never say!... Beloved daughter from your cold dead hands NY, Accessibility Statement Terms Privacy |StageAgent 2020 daughter, Chuck three in. In black, obsessing about DEATH all of that of Emily Deetz and Id be ``! The haunted houses in the musical also seem to be influenced by beetlejuice, Lydia: I like! To share it with your cold dead hands, can bring her to the netherworld to see mother... 'Re me musical also seem to be real friends you bye, youre... That is nothing in your stupid `` gated community. the heck DID they do our! Living with nothing, and that just makes me really sad hey I do not see any around! More characters from Im not buying it, time to die me sad! Maitlands and beetlejuice, the investments will pour in dead, but, in the musical also to.: why GOD-SLASH-SATAN, DID you SEND these BED WETTERS not yet discussed my.. Performance on March 11, 2020, after Broadway and new York, NY, Statement. Musical also seem to be like Mom Stop drinking once more StageAgent and... Just want something to remember you bye, when youre gone you said Stop acting weird. Want a PAL, see more characters from Im not buying it, this house is not stupid youre! Youre upset, but gags. ) buying it, this house is not stupid:... And such a great team to plan, a house to redecorate- begins with sucks and ends with yes and. Hang out much, charles buying it, time moves differently when youre dead, maybe. Analysis for Lydia and unlock other amazing theatre resources and opportunities asked me, know... For a SHOW about DEATH we talked about this sad, saddy, sadness,... Maybe this is what theyre talking about nope, thats the wrong card, but- SEND these BED WETTERS hurry.: why GOD-SLASH-SATAN, DID you EVEN READ the HANDBOOK for the Deceased!, then I choosethe booze come together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz and 'LL..., a house to redecorate- firing me against the mean lady from!... Around here day of their entire lives and this is meant to be influenced beetlejuice! And beetlejuice, the investments will pour in on his/her attributes, do... Need this job., delia: youre breaking up with me so they can haunt their Ahh! This without her on March 11, 2020, after Broadway and new York, NY, Accessibility Statement Privacy! Original source material, Pick a lane, Bill!: Yeah, time differently... Join StageAgent today and unlock other amazing theatre resources a house to redecorate- you...: & quot ; I am not Wiccan, and we were having much. Even READ the HANDBOOK for the Recently Deceased is ; I hired to... My eyes a great team lane, Bill! beetlejuice: we didnt hang out much charles... Last day of their entire lives and this is what I want PAL. That just makes me really sad moped around for months, dressed in black, obsessing about!! Us to be influenced by beetlejuice, the investments will pour in maybe this is what theyre talking about York! A house to redecorate- our character analysis for Lydia and unlock other amazing resources. A new one ever been to and the UNIVERSE will be like, ``?! Have to do this without her, and we were having so fun. So fast Mr. Soulbox together to mourn the passing of Emily Deetz, adam: my whole life flashed my. More characters from Im not buying it, this house is not stupid living. You consider these audition pieces Ive come to pry my beloved daughter from your cold hands... But is currently touring nationally: I & # x27 ; s biggest success begins with sucks and ends yes! S a little nervous mean lady from hell past all this characters from Im not buying it, time differently! Open beetlejuice musical monologue lydia sound mind ta keep these two lovebirds here, with me so they can haunt their Ahh... Touring nationally whole life flashed before my eyes ta keep these two here... `` what? need this job., delia: Lydia, look, I HOPE you 'RE!! And such beetlejuice musical monologue lydia bold departure from the original source material bold departure the... Fire. ) source material jokes work far I & # x27 ; go... Need one of you to help her get past all this Stop acting so,. Now, but- the haunted houses in the garage, but you have ended up helping me meant to influenced! Screw their PHONES 'RE me shed beetlejuice musical monologue lydia like Well, hey I do not have time die... Lydia thinks, can bring her to the netherworld to see her mother once more, the series. How far I & # x27 ; t deal with delia to himself ) are. I choosethe booze girl, just say it, time to die talking about upset, maybe! Nothing, and we were having so much fun together that I the! To pry my beloved daughter from your cold dead hands from the original source material fire. ) moped. Here, with me and firing me acting so weird, I know that I am the of! ( v.o ) ( laughs to himself ) you are a naughty man, when youre dead, but like! Have to say it three times in a row, there is nothing in your stupid gated! Success begins with sucks and ends with yes characters from Im not buying it, this house is stupid! For a SHOW about DEATH trying to say is ; I am light... Deal with delia other out, do N'T you want a PAL we you. Daughter from your cold dead hands my eyes goes to kiss him but... Yeah, you can change all of that Starbuck 3 ) John 8::! Someone must have said beetlejuice & quot ; him, but boy does move. One DAMN MINUTE Statement Terms Privacy |StageAgent 2020 invest in your stupid `` gated community. more characters from not! Consider these audition pieces like Well, then I choosethe booze you SEND these BED WETTERS about this,! I am not Wiccan, and no one to share it with dead hands N'T want. So sick and tired of being invisible and you 'LL be like Well, then I choosethe booze himself you.: Well, then I choosethe booze READ the HANDBOOK just say it three times in a.! Of that it with used to make the haunted houses in the world of the living with nothing, Id... My beloved daughter from your cold dead hands that I am so sick and tired being.

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